Beware! I am really hopping on my soapbox here because I am so sick of the mindfulness bandwagon. Every time I open a magazine or newspaper, I see another article extolling mindfulness as the panacea for all ills.
Now don’t get me wrong, there is a very real place for developing the practice of mindfulness. It is a wonderful thing to stop, breathe and be totally in the present moment – feeling at one with the Universe, and expressing gratitude for what we have. I am all for that. It’s a very nice concept.
However, from my own experience of working with clients who seek help because they are extremely stressed and anxious, the absolutely last thing I would get them to try first is mindfulness. Imagine a person who has just been severely traumatised, or fired, or diagnosed with a life-threatening illness – would you seriously think that suggesting they try mindfulness is helpful, at that stage?
Sure, I often start a session by getting a person to take six deep connected breaths with me – to calm them down enough to be able to begin to talk. After that, it is much more productive to allow a person begin to offload about their situation. When a person is very stressed and anxious, they can feel as if their world is closing in on them and there is no way out. They desperately need to find some real perspective on their problems, and implement an action plan to prioritise their next moves. And at that point there may be so much going on, and so much chaos to deal with already, I wouldn’t even suggest trying to learn to meditate because these people have enough on their plate for the next week or so.
One of the worst things you can do, for someone who is feeling like a pressure cooker with the lid about to fly off, is to suggest something that is way beyond their ability to manage. There is often so much pressure and guilt about not being able to manage current circumstances – without adding to this guilt, and setting them up to feel as if they are failing by not feeling calm enough to begin to practice mindfulness or meditation.
Many people suffering from stress are so used to an incredibly fast pace of life, they can’t even contemplate trying to still their thoughts – let alone sit still!
At the outset dealing with stress needs to be an active process. It is very important to allow the free expression of emotion and feelings, rather than a diversion, such as mindfulness, that encourages people to focus their attention inwards. They may well feel calmer by disengaging from their stress while practicing mindfulness for a few minutes – but if the underlying causes of the stress are not adequately addressed and consciously dealt with – nothing will change. The stress will still be there.
I believe in a pragmatic approach that moves at the correct pace for each individual. It involves drilling into current circumstances and assessing the risks they face, and targeting solutions utilising effective tools to help them cope with the changes that may have been forced upon them. I have found that a guided Meditation format works best when it is used in conjunction with this emotional releasing work.
Mindfulness is a wonderful state to aim for – later down the track. But when someone who has never tried it before finds themselves suddenly in dire straights; sadly, it’s not even going to begin to cut the mustard.